Welcome to my mind

I've often thought about writing my thoughts down as they come to me. As most people who know me already know, I have an opinion, and some information, stored in my brain, on just about any subject that comes up. Information fascinates me, I love hearing it, I love reading it, I love discovering it. The problem I have with information, and a reason why a lot of people aren't going to like my writing style, is because to me everything is information, and I often forget how people feel about that information, as you can imagine this can cause some conflict.

Some background; As a kid I never understood how everyone else functioned, it never seemed to make any sense, it was all an elaborate set of rules that were ever flowing, ever changing, depending on a whole host of different factors, that instinctively they all seemed to know. I felt somehow incomplete, insufficient, and often very lonely.

To avoid the real world where nothing made any sense, I dived into books, small books, to novels, to huge 1000+ page books, you see none of these books had any logical rules in them (which was how I viewed the whole world at this time), at this stage I did not enjoy reading history, I enjoyed teens that turned into animals, and books with dragons and magicians, and elves and dwarves, because all these things seemed much more exciting than real life, yet at the same time, seemed to make as much sense as how people reacted to being corrected by a 5 year old. Now how people react to being corrected by a 5 year old might make sense to you, of course he is being a "smart ass" etc, but to me I did not understand why they talked about being a "smart ass" like I had just done something extremely naughty. This was one of the most confusing statements of my early life, in fact because I had no understanding of what they meant by this, I took it to mean "I am intelligent, and that is BAD" and I took up a habit of hitting my head on things, because I knew this would kill brain cells and maybe I could fit in with everyone else.

Now, I don't blame my parents for the way I was brought up, in fact I believe I am quite lucky as I could have had much less tolerant parents, but I don't believe that they were prepared for how I am.
I will probably go into alot more stories(in future posts) about times I have made complete social, and emotional "f&#k ups" if you'll excuse my French, but today I just want to introduce myself, and this is one part of my make up, that I have found has drawn people to me, but more often pushed them away (often very quickly), with not much of a middle ground.

Now I never understood what there was about me that made me so different to everyone else, (try looking up, why is everyone so crazy? why doesn't anyone make any sense? it doesn't get you too far) until YEAR 9, and a book called "the curious incident of the dog in the night time" All of a sudden, WOW I had something I could look into (research, research, research), there are other people out there like me, there are other people out there even further on this "spectrum" who would be insanely jealous of my social and emotional intelligence and abilities. Funnily enough, my elder brother had to read this book in previous years for school, and I remember asking him about it, and he said it was boring and not to bother reading it, so I didn't. This is the only book that I had to read for school that I truly ever thought was worth my time.

In a post soon, I will probably go into my development/journey from being completely inept and close to non functioning, to being able to fool people who I first meet into never knowing that I am in the least bit socially awkward or often emotionally incapable. From hardly knowing the difference between a sad person and a happy person beyond cartoon pictograms of :( and :) to being able to read someone at a poker table and clear them of all their money.

This blog will often be filled with random thoughts I have of space-time, media control, world poverty, technology, history, sport, and a whole host of other subjects, but I will often come back to this subject, as it really is important to me, if you follow these posts, you will see how I have spent so long delving into other people's minds, that sometimes I forget that my mind may be as interesting to others as yours is to me. I doubt I will proof read most of what I write, but I am always happy to answer questions and I apologise for any errors in spelling and punctuation.

Thank you for reading, your mind is beautiful and don't let anyone tell you what you are or aren't